I was talking to a friend about this just yesterday — how when you stop being invested in our dominance hierarchy oriented culture, it’s easy to see how beautiful all people are. I go to a Pilates class and most of the women are middle-aged and have middle-aged appearances and fitness levels — and I just love them. There is something wonderful about each one. There’s usually at least one young hottie in every class as well, and she’s beautiful too, but not really more so than the rest of the women.
Also, as you pointed out, being attractive doesn’t mean you are kind or friendly or compassionate. It doesn’t even mean you are a good lover. I strive to take good care of my physical appearance but I know it’s not the most important thing about me, nor about anyone else.