I was pretty darn happy with my husband of 25+ years, James. But when we decided to open up our relationship, I found that I do need more. Not because he is inadequate, but because this is who I am (fortunately, it's also who he is). I have found so much of myself in non-monogamy because instead of viewing myself as one half of a couple, I now see myself as an individual who has significant connection, which is very different than all my old monogamy-oriented programming. And I do need and want more significant connections than just the very important one that I have with James. This doesn't mean that my commitment to him is any less than it has ever been. It simply means that love is not a pie to be divvied up and that sex is a fundamental human way to connect.

Dispelling cultural myths with research-driven stories. My favorite word is “specious.” Not fragile like a flower; fragile like a bomb! Twitter @ElleBeau

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