I truly honor your honesty and vulnerability here. To some extent, it’s a journey that we all are on, but I do think that the world demands it more strictly from men.
I don’t know if this would interest you, but I think that it might. The Dark Side of the Light Chasers by Debbie Ford is a fairly short book full of Debbie’s own personal stories and practical exercises for meeting your shadow and beginning to embrace it and integrate it into yourself. Your greatest wound is also the root place of your greatest gift and none of us can be whole when we are denying and trying to disown the parts of ourselves that we don’t think are social acceptable. I highly recommend it!