I think you're right about the tribal thing, although I don't really care about how other people live, so part of me doesn't get this. Want to be kosher? Doesn't affect me, so go ahead. Want to have an arranged marriage? Same. Want to swing naked from the chandeliers while you have sex with 20 people, no problem. It's not for me, but it doesn't impact my life. Seeking this level of group acceptance just seems like it's a substitute for cultivating your own acceptance.
I am, however, glad to hear that what I write has given you a greater understanding of polyamory. There are most definitely no victims and no crimes in my relationships!