I think you are grossly underestimating how deeply misogynistic a culture we have. We live in a dominance hierarchy where up until about 50 years ago everyone “knew their place.” Now those people want an equal seat at the table and that is profoundly disturbing to many because to them it’s a zero-sum game. Someone has to lose in order for someone to win, or so they believe. Most men and many women still subconsciously view the world this way. Clinton had many faults, but her biggest one was being a woman who thought she had the right to be the leader of the free world (not knowing her place).
“It (Down Girl) argues that misogyny should not be understood primarily in terms of the hatred or hostility some men feel toward all or most women. Rather, it’s primarily about controlling, policing, punishing, and exiling the “bad” women who challenge male dominance. And it’s compatible with rewarding “the good ones,” and singling out other women to serve as warnings to those who are out of order. It’s also common for women to serve as scapegoats, be burned as witches, and treated as pariahs.”
Women who resist or flout gendered norms and expectations may subsequently garner suspicion and consternation, which has less to do with their challenging gendered norms per se, and more to do with their challenging entrenched norms simpliciter. And for some people, feminism, in particular, has profoundly disrupted their sense of the social order. The hostility they display to women who disrupt or pose a threat to gendered social hierarchies, say, is compatible with their being egalitarians in the abstract. They may nevertheless perceive powerful women who do not wield their power in service of men’s interests as abrasive and threatening.