I think very few people believe that All white men are oppressive bigots, but that doesn’t negate the fact that we live within a societal structure that is deeply misogynistic and patriarchal. You have fallen into the intention quagmire. One does not have to have overt, conscious intention to none-the-less potentially act out harmful paradigms or behaviors. This is a by- product of a domination hierarchy. It’s the ocean we’ve been swimming in the past 5K years but the good news is it’s only been 5- for the millennium preceding humans lived in much more egalitarian and partnership oriented societies and we can move in that direction if we try.
Blanket statements about anyone are non-serving. Humans are too diverse to be lumped together and it takes away their agency and basic humanity. But that being said, certain societal systems exist. Until 50 years ago those were not just in custom, they were also in law. You are a smart enough guy to know that thousands of years of law and custom don’t evaporate in the short span of 50 years. That’s why we need to keep talking about this stuff. If the people who are potentially in a Venn diagram with some of this harmful systems would stop acting like they are being personally attacked and listen, we’d have a better chance of making a nicer world for all.