I read somewhere (and tend to agree) that foreplay begins immediately after her last orgasm. In other words, it’s not just what’s taking place naked between the sheets (although the best sex does alway include at least 20 minutes of that before PIV). Flirting, planning, anticipating, being kind to each other, doing things for each other (you’d be surprised how horny it makes most women to find that the kitchen has been cleaned up without asking.) Younger men seem to not bother much with foreplay in my experience. Maybe it’s because they mostly learned about sex from porn, which typically involves about 45 seconds of it, but it’s worth the time and trouble to savor the process and build heat over time. I really liked the analogy of eating a nice meal in a place with great ambiance vs. having a burger shoved in your face. Sometimes you want a burger as fast as possible, but in general, the nice meal in a great place is preferrable.

Dispelling cultural myths with research-driven stories. My favorite word is “specious.” Not fragile like a flower; fragile like a bomb! Twitter @ElleBeau

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