I put that in there because the sheer volume of emotion in your response suggested that’s what you were responding to. You relating your experience with a less than ideal partner speaks to your emotional buy-in to your position and does not in any way negate pervasive sociological phenomenon.

Patriarchy teaches men to act a certain way in relationships, and most women are no longer going to tolerate that because that isn’t the world that we live in any longer. That’s the larger sociological dynamic. What happened in your individual relationship or any individual relationship is not relevant to that pervasive dynamic. With your background, you ought to have a better grasp of that concept.

Listening to the concerns of your partner and taking them seriously is always a good recipe for better relationships, and that applies to any and all genders. I don’t need to tell you that — it’s self-evident, but that is my take-away from the OP. He was simply highlighting one aspect of that which he commonly sees in his counseling practice. That doesn’t mean that there aren’t specific ways that women could better relate to their husbands or that only men take their wives for granted in this way. It’s just speaking about one pervasive dynamic.

Look, I don’t really see continuing to discuss this as leading to anything productive, so I’m going to go on to other things.

Dispelling cultural myths with research-driven stories. My favorite word is “specious.” Not fragile like a flower; fragile like a bomb! Twitter @ElleBeau

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