I know a lot of feminists and I don’t know any who think that masculinity is in and of itself toxic or that all men are rapists. You sound to me like you’ve been spending time with men who interpret feminism in this way rather than actual mainstream feminists.
Toxic masculinity is a real thing. It’s the perversion of stereotypical masculine traits like assertiveness into aggressiveness and confidence into entitlement. It’s also killing thousands of men by forcing them to live in a way that keeps them emotionally isolated, because it’s never OK for them to be vulnerable. Why do you think male suicide is so high? Talking about that and being concerned about the way it hurts both men and women is not stigmitizing healthy masculinity. And only really defensive people would believe that.
Same goes for the rape thing. 1 in 6 women will be raped or have it attempted and this is an appalling statistic! Talking about that and being furious about it does not remotely mean that all men are rapists. It means we have a sick culture that often turns a blind eye, shames victims or otherwise allows for a comparatively small percentage of men to perpetrate rape — repeatedly. It took 60 fucking women to finally bring Bill Cosby down! The men (and women) who aren’t actual perpetrating rape still need to be a part of changing that dynamic. The CDC and the WHO both say that violence against women is an epidemic and a national health emergency. Don’t shoot the feminist messenger for telling you something that you’d rather not hear.