I just wrote something a few days ago talking about the difference between a domination model of leadership v. partnership model (which means more than working with partners). It’s really about the difference between strict hierarchy (you will do what I say, when I say or else) and one where power and respect flow both up and down the hierarchy and it’s the leader’s role to help facilitate people doing their best work by providing them what they need to do so. I do think some people are just more wired to be direct and no-nonsense but also that some of what you are describing may stem from being steeped in a largely domination based hierarchical society.
My article also compared the cooperative leadership of wild wolf packs (currently termed, “the breeding male and the breeding female -terms like Alpha and Beta have fallen out of use because they aren’t accurate, and actually stemmed from watching unrelated wolves in a zoo setting battle for dominance) with the myth of the Alpha.
Anyway, I just saw some overlap with what you were saying, but I do completely agree that if people find you rude, you are.