I just want you to know that these feelings are more common than we’ve been led to believe. Recent research indicates that most women experience this to some extent, although perhaps not all of them are ready to explore those feelings, and that’s fine. Going poly after 20 years of monogamous marriage offers more than just sexual variety, although I do really enjoy that part. It’s brought me closer to my husband and helped me live out who I really am in a way that wasn’t taking place when I was living by other people’s rules. For me, that’s where the true fulfillment lies — in getting to create my life and co-create my relationships instead of doing what I’ve been told.