I heartily agree that freely choosing monogamy is a very valid option, but do want to point out that polyamorous relationships aren’t only about sex. They can be whatever the people involved want them to be, which is one of the attractions — no rules, except the ones that you co-create together.

One of my partners is a man whom I no longer see in person, mostly because we live on opposite sides of the country now. He’s still my emotional and spiritual partner however, and I consider him one of the two men whom I’m committed to for life. Opening up my marriage has brought a lot of growth to me as a person and to my relationship with my husband as well that doesn’t have much at all to do with sex.

Much as how homosexuality is a lot more about who you love than who you have sex with, polyamory is about who you choose to share your intimate life with, in whatever way that you choose to do that. This might be other partners of various types, other play partners, or casual hook-ups — or something else.

Dispelling cultural myths with research-driven stories. My favorite word is “specious.” Not fragile like a flower; fragile like a bomb! Twitter @ElleBeau

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