I have truly never had the urge to do most of that. I’ve done a lot of work to examine what my personal values and beliefs are and I try to stay in line with those. On the very rare occasion where I have felt the urge to scream at someone, I’ve done it.

I learned from a very wise man that the best way to become a healthy and whole person is to follow your desires and urges, and then to let the natural consequences of those be what guides you in the future. It’s how you begin to operate authentically rather than by a list of rules created by someone else. I do something that feels right to me up until the time that it no longer feels right or doesn’t work for me for some other reason — perhaps that I see it’s hurting someone else or that it brings me a consequence that I’d prefer not to have. It’s a very organic way to be in the world.

I do try to be tactful and not trample other people, but for the most part, that’s what I actually want to be doing because I care about the people around me and try to be good to them. But I don’t do things because I should…. that is a very, very dirty word in my book.

Written by

Dispelling cultural myths with research-driven stories. My favorite word is “specious.” Not fragile like a flower; fragile like a bomb! Twitter @ElleBeau

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store