I have a really high sex drive, but if I’m very tired or distracted by the stresses of life, sometimes I just want snuggling. I still feel a tiny bit guilty at times when I draw the line there, but James also says sometimes that he understands, because he’s really too tired also. I’m not entirely sure how I arrived at this place — maybe just by having a few more years on you, but for the most part, I acknowledge that I don’t have to compromise my wants every time. Sometimes I can be persuaded, and sometimes not, and he has gotten more and more comfortable with this.
Men are really socialized that the only acceptable touch is sexual touch, so it’s also kind of a re-training for them to acknowledge that there is pleasure and comfort in not going “there” every single time.