I have a primary partner, whom I’ve lived with (and stood up in a church with) for many years. I also have another male life partner who I used to have a physical and emotional relationship with but who now lives far away so it’s strictly an emotional and energetic relationship at this point, although I am as committed to him as I am to the nesting partner.

The two of us (primary and me) together have a girlfriend whom we also both love, but in a very non-attachment based way. We only see her every few weeks and don’t even always talk all that often in between dates, although sometimes we do. When we are together, we just adore the hell out of each other and have so much fun! We talk about how much we love each other and then go our separate ways until the next time.

Every once in a while we have sex with someone else, but for the most part, these love based relationships are the ones that are the easiest and most stable, providing both physical and emotional variety as well. There’s no one way to do this poly thing, which is both the attraction and the challenge of it, but we’ve both never been happier.

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Dispelling cultural myths with research-driven stories. My favorite word is “specious.” Not fragile like a flower; fragile like a bomb! Twitter @ElleBeau

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