I don’t give a flying fuck about politeness! I’ve lived my entire life as prey and so has every other woman in the world. I don’t need your permission to state or acknowledge something that is our lived experience. You are again purposefully evading the topic at hand by demanding that women talk about the painful experiences in their life in a way that is acceptable to you -as a way to not acknowledge those experiences. Why won’t you acknowledge them? How does it harm you to believe the truth about what women say about how they have always had to live?
If women aren’t prey, why is it considered polite (and necessary) to offer to walk a woman to her car after dark? Why do women hold their keys like a weapon when they walk by themselves? Why do people (like Henry Cavill) say, “There’s something wonderful about a man chasing a woman …”? Yeah, you are damn right that it’s not healthy or polite to treat fellow human beings in that way, but it’s how women are treated every moment of every day. Pretending that isn’t so won’t end the dynamic.
Although it may not seem like it at times, I do spend a good deal of my life being grateful and acknowledging all of my blessings. It’s the way that I open every session with clients, by asking them to tell my what they are grateful for. And, that being said, pretending that problems aren’t actually problems and that there is nothing in the world that needs to change is not behaving responsibly or sanely, for that matter. It’s also a luxury I don’t have.