I didn’t say it was the man’s fault. I said the complete opposite of that. If you can’t pay attention to what people actually say and instead simply jump to conclusions that upset you, I feel sorry for YOU!

Here’s what I actually said: “I completely agree that women can be jerks and a lot of them have baggage that needs their attention, and not by trying to work out their insecurities on someone else. But a certain amount of those insecurities and baggage come from the patriarchal society that we live in, meaning, socially stratified, always comparing yourself to others, vying for the highest status, etc., and not just the male/female power differential. A lot of male jerkiness comes from the same place — societal expectations and norms.

Patriarchy is a social system that is about way more than any historic power differential between men and women. It only came about only around 6–9 thousand years ago, at the same time that paternity became a more central concern — hence the name. It was also the first time that human beings had social classes, wealth disparity, and used bullying and coercion to enforce those. It’s the root cause of racism, homophobia, and bullying of all kinds, as well as sexism. Prior to that time, people lived in enclaves that used taking care of the group as a survival strategy. With the advent of patriarchy, you instead get the things I mentioned in my comment — a very different type of social system with different kinds of problems — ones that pit people against each other rather than encouraging to them to care for each other as a way for everyone to thrive. It encourages the kind of insecure and self-involved behaviors that Jessica mentioned.

I have my two male partners, my girlfriend, and my other male lover to keep me company as well as a whole lot of friends, including many among my 5K+ followers. Oh, and my 20 cats as well. Just kidding, I only have 2. 😉

Dispelling cultural myths with research-driven stories. My favorite word is “specious.” Not fragile like a flower; fragile like a bomb! Twitter @ElleBeau

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store