I completely agree that women can be jerks and a lot of them have baggage that needs their attention, and not by trying to work out their insecurities on someone else. But a certain amount of those insecurities and baggage come from the patriarchal society that we live in, meaning, socially stratified, always comparing yourself to others, vying for the highest status, etc., and not just the male/female power differential. A lot of male jerkiness comes from the same place - societal expectations and norms.

I wouldn't call that toxic femininity because it is not a reflection of inherently feminine characteristics being taken to an unhealthy extreme in the way that "toxic masculinity" is otherwise just fine masculine characteristics taken to an unhealthy extreme. It's really a kind of internalized misogyny, meaning not self-hatred, but rather internalized limiting beliefs about what women are supposed to be like, and the function they are supposed to perform in society.

Maybe that's just all semantics in the point that you are trying to make about women also being bad partners at times, but you know me. I just gotta say this stuff! 🙃

Edit: Before you leave an offbase or offended comment about how I’m defending women and letting them off the hook, all the while blaming men, stop and actually re-read what I’ve said, which is nothing of the sort.

The society that we have is based in a dominance hierarchy. That’s what patriarchal society means: something that I’ve made quite clear above. If that’s a new concept to you, I understand. But instead of going on a tirade or making a snarky remark, stop for a moment, take a breath, and try to take in something that is probably a bit different than you just assume it is.

Reread the highlighted segments again, at a minimum before you leave your comment.

Dispelling cultural myths with research-driven stories. My favorite word is “specious.” Not fragile like a flower; fragile like a bomb! Twitter @ElleBeau

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