I am not trying to provoke you and I’m not saying this to be unkind. You are not an actual feminist. You don’t understand anything about power dynamics, historical oppression, or any of the other basic fundamentals of why someone would want to consider themselves a feminist. You ask me questions like, “What is the feminist social contract?”

Literally every discussion we’ve ever had you have taken a stance that men are the ones being bashed when women point out unpleasant aspects of their life experience. This is not a feminist stance. You aren’t even particularly sympathetic to what it’s like to be a woman in a patriarchal society. I’ve spent a lot of time talking about how I see it negatively affecting men, but I’ve never once seen you say something that is affirmatively in support of women. So, why on earth would you consider yourself a feminist? I’m truly curious.

You can hold whatever positions that you do, but you are fooling yourself and confusing others when you label yourself a feminist. I consider myself a pragmatist — I care about policies and structures that benefit the most people most of the time. Whatever works to bring about a better society.

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Dispelling cultural myths with research-driven stories. My favorite word is “specious.” Not fragile like a flower; fragile like a bomb! Twitter @ElleBeau

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