I always choose my words carefully and take responsibility for them. However, I do not take responsibility for what you assume that I meant but that I didn't actually say (particularly when it's the complete opposite of what I actually did say). I've already pointed out to you where you misquoted me, but apparently I need to do it once more.

"I said mercy not risk and you painting me with the broad brush of what other people supposedly think rather than what I actually said is bad debate and also just poor behavior in a more general sense."

What I actually said: And how does that apply when men are also stipulated to be at the mercy of patriarchal society?

What you quoted me as saying: Quoting you with precision, if a man “is stipulated to be at the risk of a patriarchal society,”

I also previously quoted to you what I actually said about both men and women often deriving their jerkiness from patriarchal norms (after already reiterating that men are at the mercy of a patriarchal society). I was letting no-one off the hook for bad behavior and was simply pointing out the origins of it, from my perspective. I did not make one standard for women and a different one for men. That’s all in your head (or should I say, in your emotions).

What I actually said: I completely agree that women can be jerks and a lot of them have baggage that needs their attention, and not by trying to work out their insecurities on someone else. But a certain amount of those insecurities and baggage come from the patriarchal society that we live in, meaning, socially stratified, always comparing yourself to others, vying for the highest status, etc., and not just the male/female power differential. A lot of male jerkiness comes from the same place — societal expectations and norms.

What you think I said (but that I most certainly did not — you just made it up): Whereas, apparently a woman whose actions are unavoidably caused by the same patriarchal society, is free to blame her individual husband or SO for her actions.

Why is that so difficult to process? Are you sure you like strong women? I’m not convinced that’s really the case if their writing so emotionally pokes you that you can’t even perceive what they have actually said.

If you are so enmeshed in your shit (yes, that's the appropriate term here — one that us lifecoaches tend to use with regularity since it’s so descriptive of a situation like this one) that you can't even read the words that are right there on the page and instead persist in misquoting and mischaracterizing what I did actually say, then that's your issue and not mine. You are more than welcome to comment and critique what I've actually said, but since you seem to have no real contact with reality in that regard, I think this conversation is now done.

Dispelling cultural myths with research-driven stories. My favorite word is “specious.” Not fragile like a flower; fragile like a bomb! Twitter @ElleBeau

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