Herb Coleman, thanks so much for your extensive response. I agree with so much that you’ve said. For me, it’s I guess about whether both (all) participants are getting something out of it other than mere money. My real objection with most porn is that the woman is clearly not actually sexually aroused and is putting on an absurd show about how getting pounded with some joker’s freakishly large dick is driving her wild. Meanwhile, he looks bored or like he’s doing her some kind of favor. Silly is fine, even dumb storylines and bad acting is not so offensive, but sex acts alone are not what makes something sexy. The webcam you described sounds like a good example of this.

Maybe in softcore porn or the shows you’ve mentioned, the actors are just doing their job and are also only getting money out of it, but at least they are doing a convincing job of making you believe that it’s sensual, erotic, juicy, hot or whatever you want to call it. Actual sexual connection with someone is primal. Even if it’s not evoking feelings of love, it should be taking you somewhere deeper than a transactional state where people are essentially using each other as living sex toys. I guess that’s it in a nutshell for me.

I appreciated hearing from you on this. Talking about it some more gave me a bit more clarity around how I feel, although it’s still largely in the eye of the beholder.

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Dispelling cultural myths with research-driven stories. My favorite word is “specious.” Not fragile like a flower; fragile like a bomb! Twitter @ElleBeau

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