Further well illustrating how societal roles hamper and hinder us all. Throw that shit out the window and figure out who you actually are and what you actually like/want regardless of what society says you should. This is a tricky business that requires a lot of intention and self-reflection.
Read books about ethical non-monogamy, even if you never intend to be in anything but a monogamous relationship. ENM is based in standing as an individual (not a co-dependent part of someone else) and honestly talking about your needs, your fears, your desires — and then communicating those to the person you want to be involved with so that you can co-create your relationship so that it works for you both. It’s not perfect; we are human beings after all, but it’s a damn-sight better than what you’ve described above.
Thanks for writing about this. I think all kinds of roles, not just relationship ones, get in the way of people having the life that they truly want, but most people don’t seriously question that — because roles…….