Feminism concentrates its focus on women (that’s why it has that name) but in a mainstream form is actually about everyone (male, female, or non-binary) to have the choice to be whatever they want to be because telling anyone that they have to fit in a box is destructive (regardless of how common it is). Because motherhood is so central to the culture of the Na, girls who don’t want to be mothers, or who have fertility problems, or who are lesbians, have a really bad time.

What if you really wanted to be a businessman or a lawyer and were told that you couldn’t because those are women’s jobs? Instead, you had to sit home with the children and do the weaving. That’s the way it was in Egypt up until about the 4th C. BC. In the earliest history, only women were religious leaders/priestesses and clan leaders.

“True equality, true feminism is recognition of the dynamics that each person brings to the table. And I say “each person” because women will have reached truest levels of equality when men also have truest levels of equality. As long as we stay and assign task and duty, responsibility and opportunity to a particular gender, then we are not actually striving for true feminism.”

In a modern world there is no logical reason to support the clearly harmful practice of telling people who they are supposed to be, who it is acceptable to be, rather than supporting each individual figuring out for themselves who they actually are.

My professional advice to anyone who is experiencing that is “Tell them to fuck off!”

“The rules of man box culture include 1) Don’t show emotions 2) Be a provider not a care giver 3) Bed a lot of women 4) Make money 5) Be a leader/have the last word 6) Talk about sports not about anything deep. These are all about doing and because they are, they must be proven every day.

We spend our lives proving our manhood by doing, over and over and over. Man box culture doesn’t care who we are as individuals. It shames authentic connection, self reflection, emotional expression, all the ways in which humans form connection and community. It is fundamentally isolating, individualizing.”

While it may be confusing in the short term for men (and women) to have to figure out who they are rather than who they’ve been told to be, it’s ultimately freeing and much more mentally and emotionally healthy.

Dispelling cultural myths with research-driven stories. My favorite word is “specious.” Not fragile like a flower; fragile like a bomb! Twitter @ElleBeau

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store