Exactly! Unfortunately, our society is built around a dominance hierarchy and these acts are often about exerting domination rather than about making a connection. We didn’t have marital rape laws in all 50 states until 1993. What kind of husband would want access to his wife’s body without her consent? The kind who thinks it belongs to him in the first place. And that’s what patriarchy teaches (even still) — in order to perform masculinity you have to take what is yours and don’t be vulnerable, etc., etc. Meanwhile, having a real connection with your partner is a beautiful thing, for all concerned.

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Dispelling cultural myths with research-driven stories. My favorite word is “specious.” Not fragile like a flower; fragile like a bomb! Twitter @ElleBeau

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