Estwald, I woke up this morning and thought of a few more things I hadn’t addressed that you said earlier. What can I say, there’s so many moving pieces and your graphics make me smile, but also can distract me from my train of thought…….😸

About the Heinlein quote, I completely agree with that. Creating our best and happiest personal world is in everyone else’s best interest also, but this is when you are creating an authenticly happy life. That is actually what I do for a living — I help people take control of and create their best lives. It is completely based in personal responsibility, but part of that self-responsibility is noticing where you might be harming someone else.

Living in a dominance hierarchy and stepping on others to achieve higher rungs does not bring actual happiness — as clearly demonstrated in our current society. Those who have the most money and power are not blissful; they continue to chase peace and joy through greater and greater domination of others and never find it, creating violence, disconnection, rape of the natural world, etc., etc.

You are making the assumption that my views come out of feminist ideology, but what they come out of is my prior background in sociology and systems science, which just so happens to reflect a similar belief that a partnership-oriented culture would be healthier for everyone than the dominance related one in which we currently live. Being entrenched in the notion that “I haven’t done anything wrong and feminists can’t boss me around” is attempting to deal with societal dynamics exclusively through the lens of personal identity— which is a highly North American way to look at it, but not a particularly efficacious one.

As I said in my article on the history of patriarchy, it’s a social system that isn’t even just about men, and certainly not about individual men choosing to behave poorly towards women. Acknowledging how patriarchy harms both men and women doesn’t require you to do any personal mea culpa. It simply requires you to mentally step back from the social system that you live in and to analyze it’s strengths and weaknesses from that vantage point.

Dispelling cultural myths with research-driven stories. My favorite word is “specious.” Not fragile like a flower; fragile like a bomb! Twitter @ElleBeau

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