Eric, you are my friend, but this is just a bunch of largely specious spouting off that bears no actual relation to the real world.

Beware of your Surroundings. Do not dress provocatively unless it is your intention and desire to provoke a VERY PREDICTABLE male response.” This is victim blaming but also claiming that men have no agency or self-control. And since I know that you read my piece on being in a sex club where women wear pretty much next to nothing and are still treated with respect, this is utter bullshit. What a woman wears or drinks or does has no bearing on how she gets to be treated. There’s a chasm of difference between being attracted to someone and feeling that you are entitled to their time, attention and body.

There is no-one in the world who is complaining about flirting, but flirting is a two way street. It’s a dialogue. What women are complaining about is a monologue or, worse yet, a coerced situation. Most of sexual harassment isn’t even really about sexual attraction — it’s about exerting dominance and power and trying to put women back in their place, which is as an object of sexual enjoyment and not a functioning full-fledged member of society.

If you want a more graphic visual, it’s like those kiosks in American malls where they try to accost you as you are walking by to get you interested in their product. You avert your eyes, pretend you don’t hear them hawking at you and do everything you can to pass by unmolested, but still, it’s a nuisance and an imposition to have to do so. Now imagine that what’s being insistently hawked is some guy’s dick that he’s all proud of and assumes you must be fascinated by as well even though you’ve not shown any remote interest. That’s the life of a woman on a daily basis.

Black people do organize and then they get yelled at and vilified for daring to do so. I reference the extreme backlash against the Black Lives Matter movement and the passive non-violent protest of Colin Kaepernick.

Why is it whining for women to speak up about the horrible lifetime of experiences they’ve had? Because that’s all #MeToo is — a demonstration of just how pervasive this problem is. Most women have had some experience with sexual violence on some level, beginning at about age of 9 or 10. And it’s shown how deeply entrenched the beliefs are in our social systems and corporations that have allowed this to go on largely unchecked for so long? These women are not talking about flirting gone awry and you know that on some level, even if you don’t want to admit it.

You are living in the echo chamber of your own beliefs about how the world is and how it ought to work, which is completely divorced from how it actually is. You’re a decent human being and a smart guy. Why are so unable to let in and assimilate new information that shifts your entrenched perspectives?

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Dispelling cultural myths with research-driven stories. My favorite word is “specious.” Not fragile like a flower; fragile like a bomb! Twitter @ElleBeau

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