Congratulations! It sounds to me like you’ve stepped off of the relationship elevator (where the main goal is to take things to the next level on the marriage and children highway rather than find the natural level of the relationship) and out of the pre-ordained boxes of what relationships are supposed to look and be like. This is a really sane, healthy, and empowered place to be because it means you get to figure out what actually works for you and the person/people you might be involved with.

After 20+ years of marriage, my husband and I opened up and are now polyamorous. It wasn’t without some significant bumps to do that, but most of it was due to deprogramming ourselves from the afore-mentioned dynamics. We’ve both grown a lot as individuals and as a couple. We stand as individuals who choose each other rather than some amorphous lump of togetherness as often prescribed by society. It’s brought us a lot of happiness to find our own path. Whether that means continued monogamy or something else for you, I applaud you for standing against the tide of societal norms to find what works for you.

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Dispelling cultural myths with research-driven stories. My favorite word is “specious.” Not fragile like a flower; fragile like a bomb! Twitter @ElleBeau

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