Christians (especially White ones) see themselves as the apex of the dominance hierarchy so talking about LGBTQ pain is also focusing on the "wrong" thing and pointing a finger at the institution that they uphold in support of their comfortable status. I think it's basically the same thing, and you're right, the appropriate and truly Christian response would be "How can I help?"
I think lots of guys don't want bad things to happen to the women in their lives, but still want to be the top of the hierarchy, and to maintain that through disrespect and even violence. That's really misogyny in a nutshell, and you can't have safety for the women you care about if you're contributing to a society that treats them as second class citizens - although that seems lost of most of them.
I ran out of room to talk about it, since this story was getting so long already, but this was what the backlash to the Gillette ad was all about too.