But that’s still 10,000 years of socialization that is in play. Yes, it’s true a man would probably have more faster, but I don’t think I’d be that far behind. As a middle-aged pansexual and non-monogamous woman, I’ve dismantled a fair amount of that socialization at this juncture (but not all) and I’m aware of how much more I notice attractive people than I used to when I was living as hetero and monogamous — it’s way, way more.

In many ways, your brain operates the way that you allow it to operate. That’s what things like biofeedback are all about — training your brain how to retrain itself. And as Sarah Martin, MA, CSC point out, there’s probably a fair amount of diversity even amongst men and women. She and I have both self-reported a very different experience than you have. Undoubtedly, it’s the same amongst men as well.

Dispelling cultural myths with research-driven stories. My favorite word is “specious.” Not fragile like a flower; fragile like a bomb! Twitter @ElleBeau

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