It doesn’t sound like what you have been exposed to is about actual polyamory. Being married to multiple women is polygamy, something that is rather different than polyamory. Polyamory is having different intimate connections with more than one person, and most of those have a sexual component, but not all of them do. Each of these relationships has it’s own parameters and is co-created by the participants, rather than just being a multi-variation of the patriarchal institution of marriage. Most polyamorous people don’t live with all of their partners and solo poly people don’t live with any of their partners.
Is It Monogamy’s Fault?
A relationship style formed within patriarchy can’t help but have issues
“Polyamory — a relationship system in which individuals have different types of romantic and sexual relationships with more than one partner at a time. Sometimes referred to as ethical non-monogamy (ENM), this relational dynamic is based (at least in theory, if not always in practice) in honesty, transparency, communication, and self-responsibility. It is about co-creating different types of intimate relationships which may meet different needs.
Things are shifting dramatically in our society. We are learning a new form of relationship — not based on sex, or swinging or adventure — but based on integrity, a new concept for many of us. Being out in the open about our real feelings many be a new and creative style of relating. This type of relating is not founded in following our lust or our impulses but is the basis of forming a new style of relationship that is honest — honest with ourselves about what we really want and desire and honest with our partners about what we need. There is an inherent maturity in standing up for what we believe is our truth — even if it is the need to love more than one person at a time.”