As you may have noticed in my profile description, I am sex positive — very sex positive. But I don’t really understand what the naturalness of sexual urges has to do with this conversation, particularly since so much of what both Lorelei Weldon and I have talked about clearly has little or nothing to do with actual sexual urges. (bull testicles, trying to make a woman lactate by crying around her, why more harassment occurs in male dominated industries, etc.)

I won’t speak for her, but I’m going to imagine that is why she thought that you were taking an idealogical stand — because you have not spoken to or addressed any of the points that either she or I have made that deal with that aspect. And if men in a sex club can control their natural urges and interact with women in a way that treats them with respect and which acknowledges their bodily autonomy and personhood, why can’t men in an office do that with fully clothed women? You haven’t spoken to that either.

My impression is that although extremely evil, knocking someones teeth out to facilitate oral sex is a utilitarian step intended to facilitate the satisfaction of a natural urge. That may be, but it still involves a huge power dynamic. Any non-consensual sex inherently does, ipso facto. As my husband pointed out, just ask a woman who is being raped or groped if she feels powerless — that speaks to the power dynamic right there. As someone who has been groped in public a couple of times, catcalled, and sexually harassed at work, I’m going to have concur.

The fact that some people (even some scholars) don’t agree doesn’t mean anything to me. Plenty of so called scholars are blinded by their own biases and agendas (e.g., Jordan Peterson and the millions of people who agree with him is a case in point). That’s how this entire discussion started — us talking about how he sees what he wants to see. He’s intelligent and at least a percentage of his followers are, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t all largely deluded and disconnected from reality.

You might say that I’m/we’re doing the same, but I’m not basing my opinion in some theory, I’m basing it in personal experience and the stories of other women and men, as well as logic. I’d really love to hear more about what you base your perspective in (other than that feels right to you) and how you respond to the very valid points that both Lorelei and I have made.

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Dispelling cultural myths with research-driven stories. My favorite word is “specious.” Not fragile like a flower; fragile like a bomb! Twitter @ElleBeau

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