As someone who does not remotely live a respectable norm and who rarely suppresses my natural urges, I’m going to have to strongly disagree. I’ve written quite a bit about how shifting from monogamy to polyamory took us both into much greater growth, fulfillment and happiness, both as individuals and as a couple, in large part because it broke us out of boxes and roles we’d been socialized to and allowed us to be who we actually are. We had to learn to communicate better around both our needs and our boundaries and in general to become much better human beings, so I’m not buying anything at all about what you are saying because it doesn’t bear out in my personal experience.
The kink world is also a lot healthier than the vanilla world. All of those rules and boxes don’t really add much and have certainly caused a lot of harm to a lot of people, both male and female.