And you are, of course, allowed to feel how you feel and to live your life as it works for you. I’m just telling you from my experience that jealousy is not a necessary part of passion or real love. Not having it does not indicate indifference — that’s the cultural narrative, and it doesn’t need to be that way. It’s setting up a kind of fence around your relationship in order to give it the impression of being safely contained. But that’s just possessiveness in disguise, and a fence that won’t hold up to any kind of leaning on it.

If you truly trusted your partner and had dealt with your own insecurities, him having coffee with a woman who was really into him would not bother you at all. Now, if she was coming on to him non-stop, that’s a different thing, because she’s being disrespectful to your relationship. But sometimes you just know when someone is really into you even if they never act on it in any way. Being in that situation should have zero impact on your relationship.

My life and relationships are full of real love, and real passion and jealousy is not a part of them.

Dispelling cultural myths with research-driven stories. My favorite word is “specious.” Not fragile like a flower; fragile like a bomb! Twitter @ElleBeau

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