Actually, I disagree quite civilly most of the time. It’s just people like you who persist in making unsupported assertions and then telling me that my well-supported views are wrong that piss me off. I don’t mind people having a different interpretation of something than I do, but I have zero patience for someone who is slinging around myths and disinformation and acting all self-righteous about it. It’s the reason I’ve continued to have this discussion because I hate to see lies and horseshit left unchallenged.
Many of the people I’ve debated have become friends of sorts. One of these frenemies and I actually had a little fond spar around mansplaining today, and we both had a good laugh. And I don’t paint women as helpless but I do recognize that violence against women is an enormous, long standing issue and I care about that — unlike you, who wants to continue to pretend that it’s all a gross over-reaction. Meanwhile, most national and international health agencies recognize that violence against women is an epidemic and a public health emergency.
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And I care about the men that are victim’s of assault and rape too — most of which is also perpetrated by men. And then there are the other ways that men are often victimized by a dominance hierarchy oriented society, and I also care about that.
Just about everything that I write is about trying to create a better world for all people — when I’m not writing about really hot sex, that is. I don’t give a flying fuck about politics or anything that isn’t a pragmatic solution for real world problems that impact real people — all people!
That’s what I meant when I said that self-defense classes wouldn’t help your daughter. She will have to continue to live in the fucked up world that you are helping to create and maintain with your blatant misogyny and insecurity even if she is able to successfully fend of an attacker. You are fostering an environment where she would never tell you if she’d been attacked. And that’s a very sad thing indeed.
Edit: As Elizabeth Breunig wrote about the Amber Wyatt case, “To look into the eyes of a vulnerable person is to see yourself as you might be. It’s a more harrowing experience than one might readily admit. There is a version of yourself made powerless, status diminished, reliant upon the goodwill of others. One response is empathy: to shore up your reserves of charity and trust, in hopes that others will do the same. Another is denial: If you refuse to believe you could ever be in such a position — perhaps by blaming the frail for their frailty or ascribing their vulnerability to moral failure — then you never have to face such an uncomfortable episode of imagination. You come away disgusted with the weak, but content in the certainty you aren’t among them.”