A very good distinction indeed and I completely agree, although as a woman I deal with a huge amount of “you don’t know what you are talking about” on the vast majority of challenging comments, so it’s a less clear line in my case. 😁
One guy was attempting to school me on something related to a societal dynamic and when I told him that I had a background in sociology and so he was essentially lecturing me on my field of expertise, proceeded to then tell me how sociology was a BS field. He was definitely one of those “there’s trouble where I’m going but I’m gonna go there anyway” instances because I stuck with him a good long while just to try to figure out what was up with him. Once I figured out the wound points that were driving him and his fairly non-rational responses, I let it go. But for those who don’t have such a perverse curiosity about aberrant human behavior, your tips are very useful.