The joys of ménage à trois

Licensed from Adobe Stock

Conventional wisdom says that two is company and that three is a crowd; three people in bed ostensibly means that someone is being left out, is getting jealous, is having an alliance built against them, or is otherwise getting the short end of some kind of metaphorical stick. Perhaps conventional wisdom should be left with the conventional?

I have never once experienced any of that in a threesome. Maybe it’s because I’ve mostly gotten to do them with people who genuinely like and care about each other, but my experience with threesomes is that it’s always been not just a…

Never judge a book by it’s cover

Photo by Mitchell Luo on Unsplash

James and I have cut way back lately on how much alcohol we drink. We’d gotten into a bit of a pandemic rut for a while there and finally decided it was time to be more responsible with our health. One of the ways that we are doing that is we started drinking de-alcoholized wine during the week. It doesn’t taste quite as good as the real stuff, but you do still get to have something wine-like in a nice glass, and so it checks a lot of the boxes that we’d gotten into by habit. …

My Sacred Tree prompt

It grounded our property and our lives

Image of a Willow Oak: Wikipedia Commons

In our yard in North Carolina, where my husband James and I lived for over 17 years, was a magical tree — a huge willow oak that looked a lot like this one above. Its trunk was broad and craggy and the canopy had grown so big over the years that it provided cover from the edge of the house far out into the yard. I don’t know if I could tell you exactly why that particular tree was so special, but it just was — solid, majestic, and emanating a wonderful tree-aura.

I would often go and breathe with…

Poetry/Made Up Words Challenge

Sleep is the best!

Photo by Lauren Kay on Unsplash

I don’t like leaving sleep
It feels almost crude
When I have such an aptitude for naptitude

I don’t want to wake up
I was having a dream
Now I’m all grumpy and wanting to scream

Just a few more minutes
Let me drift back down
That alarm makes such a horrible sound

If I were a cat
I’d nap all day long
And no one would think it the least bit wrong

But I need to get up
Without acting too rude
Despite my great aptitude for naptitude

According to the wisdom set forth in the Made Up Words…

The Bible was once used to justify segregation and race discrimination, but today we no longer accept that

Imaged Licensed from Adobe Stock

Let me begin by saying that I understand that private organizations, including religious entities, have the legal right to hold discriminatory positions, but what is legal and what is acceptable are two different things. As a society, we are under no obligation to tolerate discrimination because “Well, they have the right to do that.

In the past, and sometimes in the fairly recent past, religious beliefs were used to try to justify everything from slavery to segregation. However, today there are not many people who would boldly justify the right of religious entities to be racist. Even if they have…

The Dutch have completely normalized sexuality and the contrasts with the US are eye-opening

Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

In America, where abstenance-only sex education has become more and more the norm over the past 30 years, we have the highest rate of teen pregnancy in the industrialized world. In Holland, where sex education begins as early as age 4, the teen pregnancy rate is a fraction of what it is in the US. In fact, the wider outlooks about how to talk to children and teens about sex couldn’t be more different between our countries, although this wasn’t always the case.

According to Amy Schalet, an associate professor of sociology at the University of Massachusetts, in the late…

He wanted to put me in my place, but I found my inner strength instead

Photo by Immo Wegmann on Unsplash

Several years ago I got into a kerfuffle with an instructor in a course I was taking to learn more about a specific healing tradition. In the face of that, the tactic he used to drive me out of the course was to announce to everyone present that I was a “taker.” After all, isn’t that one of the worst things that a woman can be in a society that expects her to create her identity and value based largely on how much she can give to others?

Never mind that most conscientious mothers err greatly on the side of…

Highlights from the week, plus the featured writer

Image of the Progress Pride Flag licensed from Adobe Stock

This publication was envisioned as an inclusive sex-positive community and it makes me really happy to see this becoming a reality. This week as we kick off Pride month, I’m pleased to say that we have a variety of stories to offer which celebrate the richness of sexual and gender diversity, both from the past several days, but also from the past several months. As far as our culture has come, we still have a long way to go before true equality is reached. Sensual hopes to do its part by normalizing and celebrating queer sex and love with essays…

Remembering my favorite uncle and wishing I had known him better

Devon/Vicky by Mariette Pathy Allen

My dad’s brother Devon never married. There had been a serious contender at one point right after college, word has it, but his domineering mother had put the kibosh on it. Of the brothers, my father was the only one who had braved her wrath and gone ahead and gotten hitched. Instead, Devon went on to live a much less conventional life. It was only after he died suddenly in 2005, that my mom and I learned things about Devon that none of us had ever guessed.

Devon had been a life-long New Yorker, a charming and cultured man who…

Cultivating creative life force is one of the things that keeps my head from exploding

Image Licensed from Adobe Stock

I’ve been angry at what it’s like to be female in this culture ever since I can remember — angry at the way some men leered at me or said nasty things to me on the street, even when I was still only 10 or 11 years old. I hated and resented being scared by their entitled goggling as if I were a product on a shelf that they might select and enjoy, rather than a three-dimensional young woman with thoughts and plans.

I’ve been angry at the way I was often made to feel like I had a role…

Elle Beau ❇︎

Dispelling cultural myths with research-driven stories. My favorite word is “specious.” Not fragile like a flower; fragile like a bomb! Twitter @ElleBeau

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