Even if you aren’t personally doing the oppressing, you are still taking a side
As Eli Weisel said, “We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented.” But even beyond that, not actively working to dismantle the structures that keep some people at a systemic disadvantage actually works to the benefit of those who are already in a position of power and privilege. It’s how that status gets maintained, whether you have ill intentions or not.
I recently heard an assertion that simply by not being personally racist, one could essentially opt-out of any further responsibility for the inequities of the society that we live in. This all hinged on the “presumption of innocence” — that if someone was not personally behaving in a harmful way, they should be presumed to have good intentions and to be considered benevolent. …
In case you missed them, here are a few of the sizzling new essays, steamy erotica, and sexy poetry we published this week.
In One Conversation, She Changed Everything I Thought I Knew About Sex by Sarene B. Arias
Sometimes a New Toy is All Your Need to Spice Things Up by Demeter Delune
The Hazards of Exploring Your Sexuality With Your “Vanilla” Friends by Mysterious Witt
4 Simple Ways to Create an Erotic Playground by Pamela Madsen
My First Near FMF Threesome by Elle Beau
A Note To The *Ahem* Older Ladies by Zara Everly
A Flick Of The Switch by Jupiter Grant
Hunger by Natalie Sierra
I’ll Eat Them Too by Patrick M. Ohana
Fuck Kisses by Zara Everly
If you’d like to write for Sensual: An Erotic Life, please check out the Submission Guidelines.
That’s why it’s so important for me to have a community where I can talk about it freely
James and I have been non-monogamous for less than 6 years, but it still feels really comfortable and right to us. I know this way of living isn’t for everybody, but to us, it’s now so natural that I sometimes forget that to most of the rest of the world, it’s kind of scandalous. I remember that most people don’t live as we do, but I do sometimes forget that it would shock a lot of them if they knew the truth.
The main purpose of etiquette and manners is to help people feel comfortable. When you know what’s expected of you and how to behave in different situations then awkwardness or social discomfort is a lot less likely to take place, which means that everyone can enjoy themselves. At least that’s the theory. But beyond basic kindness and civility, what’s considered polite conversation might vary from person to person and situation to situation. …
My husband James and I have been together for almost 30 years, and over that time we’ve learned a thing or two about how to have fun in the bedroom. Below is a conversation between us about some of the most memorable sex tips we’ve come across.
You’ve seen lists like Cosmo’s top sex tips, which includes things such as: communicate better, take a bath together before sex, or have sex in a hotel room. This is not that list! While we think it’s very important to connect more fully with your partner and create a sexy ambiance, our list contains techniques that we’ve picked up together that are hot AF! Many of the things on our list we learned as a result of opening up our relationship to include other people, but you don’t necessarily need a third, fourth, or fifth playmate to enjoy the list below. …
When we first got the call that my father’s brother Jacob had died suddenly, my mother and I knew we would be the ones to have to dispose of his things. We just didn’t realize that half of them would be women’s clothing. My dad had passed on several years before and that side of the family was dwindling quickly. What we didn’t know about Jacob until we got to the apartment he shared with a friend in New York is that Jacob was bisexual. He was also a cross-dresser, who had one closet full of men’s clothes and one closet full of women’s. …
And how it planted a seed that would only be fulfilled years later
In my senior year of college, I once found myself naked in bed with the guy I was with and another couple. We’d been drinking, gotten caught in the rain, and decided to get naked and under the covers together to warm up. I was laying on my side, kissing my date, when I felt the other guy begin to press against me, his hands roaming all over my body and his hard cock sliding between my legs. It was exhilarating to be in the middle like that, but it didn’t last long. The other girl got upset that her guy was paying attention to me and the whole thing ended in less than 2 minutes. …
It’s now in my other publication, Sensual: The Life Erotic
I’ve been doing a little bit of revamping and reorganizing the past few days and I wanted to give you a brief update. My other publication, which is open to contributing writers, used to be called Sensual Enchantment, and it had a focus on the enchanted nature of life, love, and sexuality. Now, we are honing our focus to be more on sex and erotic relationships, and the new name is Sensual: The Life Erotic.
In honor of this, I’ve moved most of my sex-related content over there, including these…
The publication is evolving again to be more focused on sexuality and erotic relationships
I am pleased to announce that Sensual Enchantment has a new name and a new focus. We are now Sensual: An Erotic Life and going forward will be publishing essays, discussions, and explorations of sexuality and erotic relationships. Erotica as well as poetry that fits in with that focus are still welcome.
Although sex has long been a big part of the publication, we have also published stories in the past that weren’t directly on that topic. It’s been fun to be eclectic and to touch on things from spirituality to leading a positive life. My stories that fit into those categories can now be found at Inside of Elle Beau. …
My mom passed away in September and this will be the first holiday without her. My dad and my brother have been gone for many years, so it’s also my first holiday as the last of my very small family of origin. There are no aunts/uncles or cousins. I had some uncles once, but they too are long gone. On top of that, my brother-in-law (James’ brother) and sister-in-law are in the middle of a divorce. James’ mother is in an assisted living facility that’s on lockdown, and so we won’t have her here today either.
It’s been a tough year, with ever-dwindling human contact, and although I’m sad about all of that, I’m trying to focus on the things that I am grateful for instead. This community is right up there. You, the reader, and you, my fellow writers are a part of what keeps me going and feeling at least somewhat connected to the world around me. In-person friendships are still important, but without a chance to get together, many of those are somewhat on the back burner. I’m not really a talking on the phone kind of person, although I do it some with a few of my besties — but not every day. …
Sperm competition, not butting heads, determined who passed on their genes
Imagine this scene, not unlike what still takes place in many current hunter-gather tribes. A group of Paleolithic men and women come in from hunting small game together and bring their kill to the group for preparation for dinner. Several individuals come in from their foraging too, mostly women, but a few men as well. They also bring what they’ve gathered to the group, and in many instances, this makes up the bulk of the meal, not the meat, depending on where they live.
Unlike what you may have been led to believe, this is how our Paleolithic ancestors survived — by all taking care of each other. Men did not “provide” for their mate in the way that we think of that term, because everyone contributed to the food for the tribe, which typically consisted of 20–50 individuals. The group made sure that everyone had something to eat, regardless of their own food acquisition success on any particular day. “Cooperation and especially food sharing are essential for survival in a hunting-and-gathering economy,” (anthropologist Mark) Dyble said. “The proverb that ‘it takes a village to raise a child’ is certainly true for hunter-gatherers who, without food sharing to mitigate the day-to-day shortfalls in foraging, could simply not survive.” …