1. Society Considers It Unfeminine And Too Aggressive

The first major factor holding women back from making the first move is traditional gender roles. Like it or not, we have an existing social script that says that men should be the pursuers of dates and sex and women should be pursued. Many women are put off the idea of veering away from that script because they feel as though it will make them seem unfeminine or too aggressive.

4. Some Men Feel Emasculated By Forward Women

It’s not always women’s fault that they don’t make the first move — sometimes men actively discourage it, because they feel as though a woman doing “their job” emasculates them. In response, some women don’t approach men because they’re trying to spare the feelings of men who are wedded to traditional ideas about masculinity.

If you want women to be more likely to make the first move, make sure you aren’t perpetuating these attitudes in your own life (we’re sure you aren’t), and talk to your male friends when they make comments that suggest women “shouldn’t” be the first to approach. Again, it takes a while to shift traditional ideas about gender roles, but you can help by sparking more progressive discussions in your peer groups.

*Traditional gender roles = patriarchy

I’m sorry that you didn’t have any options but I didn’t either. You clearly have a very deep and old wound around this and I’d highly recommend that you find a shaman/shamanic practitioner and have a soul retrieval. You won’t have to talk through all of the trauma and the part of you that’s been lost because of it will be restored. It’s incredibly powerful work and can heal these kinds of wounds in the way that pretty much nothing else can. Just Google shaman and your city or area — they are all over the place these days.

Dispelling cultural myths with research-driven stories. My favorite word is “specious.” Not fragile like a flower; fragile like a bomb! Twitter @ElleBeau

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